The Bible says in Romans 15:2 “Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.”
To edify means to “build up” (see the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance with Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries #s 3619, 3624, and 1430 in the Greek dictionary).
Colossians 3:8 “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”
The Bible also says in Ephesians 5:1-7 “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor
foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words:
for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them.”
Right in the midst of a list of terrible sins in Ephesians 5:1-7, God deals with some sins of the tongue, and says that people who do these sins so much that they are known to have a filthy mouth (be an unclean person) are not saved. It says they have no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ.
In addition, God says that jesting (teasing, bullying, joking, picking on people, etc) is a sin. And then God says later that His wrath falls on people for these sins!
As Christians we are to love others, not bully them and hurt their feelings.
Some Christians have a wrong belief that people must be thick skinned, and that it is immature for a Christian to get their feelings hurt.
They get this by not understanding the proper definition of the word “offend” in Psalms 119:165 “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
This verse does not mean that a strong Christian will not get their feelings hurt. The word offend in this verse means “cause to sin.” (see the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance with Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries #s 4383, and 3782 in the Hebrew dictionary).
This verse simply means that a strong, mature Christian will never turn away from God for any reason.
The truth is, it is not immature to get your feelings hurt, it is immature, and a sin, to tease and bully someone and hurt their feelings. Even a child knows this!
Our speech should always be wrapped in thankfulness to God, and the purpose of everything we say is to be to edify the person we are speaking too.
Even if we have to correct someone, who is doing wrong, our goal should never be to hurt their feelings, but to build them up by pointing them to a higher relationship with God.
Although when you correct someone, their feelings are usually hurt, because no one likes to be corrected.
The Bible says in Luke 17:3 “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.”
Sometimes this kind of speech is necessary, but our goal should still be to build them up to a higher relationship with God, not hurt their feelings.
Jesus commands that we love others the same as He loves us.
John 13:34 “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”
Jesus does rebuke us when we sin, but it is for our good. He does not cuss us out or just tear us down, and He is quick to forgive us, when we repent.
Revelation 3:19 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”
Hebrews 12:5-6″ And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”
Hebrews 12:9-11 “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The word confess in 1 John 1:9 means to to assent, that is, covenant, acknowledge, and it means to promise (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible with Greek and Hebrew dictionaries # 3670 in the Greek). Furthermore it roots back to another word meaning to remove and work (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible with Greek and Hebrew dictionaries # 3670 in the Greek).
Therefore, confessing your sins means that you acknowledge that you have sinned and you promise God that you will work to not do the sin again.
Confession includes true repentance. It is not asking forgiveness, and then going and doing the sin again and then asking forgiveness again. That kind of confession does not cleanse you from sin.
You must promise God that you will work to stop doing the sin. Yes, the Holy Spirit helps us to overcome sin, but it still takes effort on our part too.
As Ephesians 5:1-7 shows, God takes sins of the tongue very seriously, so we need to always think before we say anything.